TWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN. AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.
THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER. "GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.
THIS TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE". THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS,"YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!"
"DEAD?" SAYS HIS FRIEND,"WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
"WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER"
HIS FRIEND SAYS,"COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH."
"A WITCH, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"
"WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE. THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW, TAKING MY TEETH WITH HER."
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Hahaha - the joys of getting old
Hey, have you seen "Grumpy Old Men"? That movie was so funny! I hope I keep my sense of humor when I reach old age.
Here's a message i got a few days ago:
Once upon a time there were three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, and
they all lived together. One night the 96 year old ran a bath. She
put one foot in and paused. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she
yelled. The 94 year old hollered back, "I don't know. I'll come and
see." She started up the stairs and stopped. She shouted, "Was I
going up or coming down?" The 92 year old sitting at the kitchen
table having tea, listening to her sister’s shook her head and
said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," and knocked on wood
for good measure. Then she yelled, "I'll come up and help both of
you as soon as I see who's at the door."